


Lust Hurts

by RedCrystal09



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Dark Past, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCrystal09/pseuds/RedCrystal09
Summary: Snow Lily was in love with Jeje. Years after the incident if that night, he watches as Jeje cares more about Mikuni than he ever did for him. He grows bitter and eventually drags Misono away to be taken care of somewhere else. With Misono gone and Lily's disappearance, everyone tries to figure out the reason behind it all. Unknown to all, Lily struggles with his inner demons. Will he ever be happy again?





	Lust Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> At first, I didn't ship Lily or Jeje but after reading a few fanfics involving them having a close brotherly or understanding relationship, it just came to me. I legit started writing this in class this morning. It was suppose to be a one-shot but I somehow expanded it. I wonder how this story will end.

He didn't consider ever consider that his feelings were more than just brotherly affection. He didn't even think it was possible for him to be in love with  _ him _ of all people… or vampire. But it had happened.

_ He, All of Love, was in love the Servamp of Envy _ . _ And deep down, he knew that Doubt Doubt wouldn't be able to return his feelings. _

Now, his appearance had nothing to do with this as he was, after all, handsome in society's standards. With shoulder-length blonde hair with unusual red eyes and a slender but slightly muscular body, one could feel some sort of attraction towards him. As expected for someone who represents Lust.

But his personality wasn't an issue either. While he knew he could be a bother sometimes since he was a social butterfly, he also knew Envy didn't mind his presence. Lust wanted to believe it was because he was a comfort to Doubt Doubt but perhaps it was just because they've known each other that he's allowed it.

No, the reason that it would never work out is because Doubt Doubt only saw him as a younger brother seeking for approval. And centuries later, he realized, it was because he wasn't his type.

When the Servamp of Envy had first arrived at the Arisuin mansion, he had been given a breach of space that lasted until he had left with a disowned Arisuin. That was the first time that Lust had felt any resentment towards someone.

He noticed that Doubt Doubt had never had any interest in gaining an eve and preferred to keep to himself. While Lust encouraged him to be more social, secretly he was relieved. He didn't want anyone to reach out to him, to take him away.

Every new generation of the family he served never attempted to form a contact with his elder 'brother', frightened by his very appearance, a very tall and thin man, 3 paper bags stacked on his head, one of them covering his face with a single hole revealing one of his glowing red eyes. 

Why him? Was it his mysterious character that drew him in? Or his gullible nature, believing lies when it was obvious they were lies? Maybe it was his very sin connecting with Envy? After all, with every cheating or loving relationship came envy, and sometimes, lust came along to destroy it. And that's what he watched as this generation of the Arisuin family shattered. 

The husband cheated on the wife and a baby was born. The wife found out and planned to kill the poor woman. Lust watched and could only frown in disapproval as Doubt Doubt explained to him his task. Of course that vile wife would take advantage of the older Servamp to make sure the woman was dead.

Out of the corner of his, Lust caught Doubt Doubt staring at him blankly. Perhaps he was waiting for Lust to draw back in disgust, to avoid him, to  _ abandon _ him. But as much as he tried, Lust would never be able to.

Sighing, he turned slightly and gave a comforting smile, saying "It's not your fault. The only one at fault is the husband. I just wonder how they're going to explain this to Mikuni. If ever." Doubt Doubt stared at him and slowly nodded before disappearing into the shadows.

On the night that woman was to die, Lust tucked Mikuni into bed, much to the boy's confusion. Lust just smiled at him, never betraying the fact that both knew his father's secret.  _ Oh the betrayal _ , Lust thought to himself,  _ If Mikuni ever finds out about how far Envy can drive his mother to insanity, he'll hate me for being the very sin that destroyed his family in the first place _ .

"What's wrong?" Mikuni asked, acting oblivious to the dangers occurring tonight. Lust stared at him, taking in his appearance and wondering how much he would change in the future.

"You'll hate me more than you do already," Lust stated, face void of emotion. All of a sudden, Mikuni sat up, looking like he had aged years as he stared at him with a calculating glare, those playful innocent eyes gone. "I've lived longer than you think, Mikuni. I'm not stupid."

"Tell me a story," Mikuni demanded as he lay back down, "I'm bored." Lust hid a smile, knowing that now even a child knew the truth. Why did he have to be the Servamp of Lust? Would his suffering ever end? Maybe that's why he wasn't against the Creator's fate. That  _ man _ had thought he was saving him but for someone as smart as him, he never considered someone with a haunting past as Lust would never want to come back, nevertheless as a monster. Sleepy Ash had every right to kill him. Creating more- "Did you lose a few brain cells or what?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, he focused on Mikuni, and with a grim smile, he asked,"Do you remember Humpty Dumpty?" The child blinked but beckoned him to continue. "Sing it with me." It was a simple task and while Mikuni reluctantly agreed, Lust knew he was trying to figure out what was the point of it.

_ Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, _

_ Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; _

_ All the king's horses and all the king's men _

_ Couldn't put Humpty together again. _

Lust sometimes wondered if the Creator had been a seer. It was quite coincidental that his demon brightened at the idea of Wonderland and right now, everyone was gaining a role from that one animated film, Alice in Wonderland. He was the white rabbit but who would be his Alice? He decided to ponder about that later as he exited the room.

But right before he left, he said,"Mikuni, think about the nursery rhyme. Who do you think would be Humpty Dumpty in this mansion?"

Only silence greeted him as darkness engulfed him.

The next thing he remembered was years later, watching as ... _ Jeje _ walked off with Mikuni. His heart clenched painfully, tears ready to burst from his eyes as he tried to control his breathing. He glanced at the scene next to him and at the female corpse. To attempt to kill an innocent child was despicable. Had she actually gone with her plan, Lust would've killed her. No one would escape his wrath if any child was harmed. Besides, Lust would've brought Misono back as his subclass if permitted to.

Noticing the doll on Mikuni's desk, he stopped. Abel was a pretty doll that Lust had given to Mikuni as a Christmas present due to Misono's begging. Mikuni might not be a part of this household anymore but he still deserves happiness. But after tonight, his definition of happiness would change. Mind made up, he snatched it up and ran out the door.

As he ran out of the mansion, he could hear Misono bawling, gossip and rumors spreading, the hushed whispers of those aware if what had happened tonight, and the father angrily destroying things.

Feeling the cold breeze hit his face, he jumped up and levitated in the air, looking for Mikuni. Seconds later, he spotted him and Envy around the corner and flew towards them. Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, he landed smoothly in front of his brother and the stupid boy.

Head moving sideways, he stared at Envy in frightful delight. "Nice to see you already hate me," his voice was filled with pain and anger. Envy stood still, not even reacting to his distress. He pulled out the pretty blonde doll and wiped off imaginary dust. Revealing Abel, he heard Mikuni release a small gasp before it was snatched out of his grasp. "Take care of it, Mikuni. Misono wouldn't like it if Abel were to be ruined."

Instead of flying off, he decided to walk away and get under Mikuni's skin. " _ Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall," _ his voice rang clear in the silent night, " _ All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty back together again." _

He could feel their stares but ignored it, embracing the darkness the closer he got to the mansion.

He was cold. Everything was dark. He felt guilty. Sadness. Loneliness. Hurt. Envy had been a constant presence in his life, even if most of it had been had just been silence on one end. It was pity. He had been given from the person he loved. And in a way, rejected.

_ It's all our fault. We failed this family just like we'd failed our eve. We only bring misery as each generation comes and goes. How long until we are forced to leave as well?  _ Lust tried to ignore the voices but found a hard time trying. Up ahead he spotted two of his subclasses.

"Mister says to erase Master Misono's memory of tonight," one of them said sadly. 

"He says it's for the best to forget about this," the other said. "If you believe it's best, perhaps the staff should forget too."

Lust just nodded and walked on, his mind racing as he tried to focus on his next task. Everything was so blurry.

He was now standing at the right side of the slumbering Misono. He looked worried as he moved here and there in his sleep. Lust stared at him coldly, blaming him for everything he lost. He knew it was wrong to blame someone who didn't even truly understand what had happened tonight but he couldn't help it. This child was a product of Lust and nothing could change.

He brought forth his palm and placed it on the young Arisuin's head, focusing on entering his head. Using illusions, he locked away the memories of tonight and left for his own room. 

Lust simply paced around and muffled his sobs. Tears streamed down his cheeks and they wouldn't stop coming.


End file.
